Tuesday, May 16, 2006

More to say

I made my post last night in the heat of emotion. Now that it's had some time to sink in, it doesn't hurt any less. But what has helped is reading all the words everyone has sent. So since it's always me writing on this site, I thought I would post some of the notes I've received in encouragement. It just proves what I've known all along - us women are so much wiser than those stupid boys. And I think I have the wisest women around in my life. I know I wasn't a fool for believing in and wanting love, I was just foolish for expecting it from someone who wasn't capable of giving it return.

--Hey Melissa: I am so sorry your are hurting. There is nothing I can say to take the pain away. All I can do is remind you that I love you. You are an amazing woman and an amazing friend. my heart goes out to you- love you tons, laura

--Sweetie…just know, you are not an idiot for giving the guy a second chance. We are women and we are trained to try to make relationships work and not give up so easy. That is the motherly instinct that most women have. You are a truly great girl and one day you will find a man that deserves to have you. - Karen

--You’re not an idiot for following your heart. He’s the moron for taking advantage of your trust. It make take time, but don’t let his bad habits tarnish your future relationships. You know how on Ebay they have ratings of vendors – too bad there’s not the same feature on dating sites. I’m really sorry to hear about all that. Are things still good with your roomie and your job? - Michelle

--You have got to be kidding. well, at least you know now that he doesn't deserve any more chances, right? i guess sometimes we have to just forgive people, see if they mean what they see and hope it works out. i'm sorry it didn't work out...i really am. and i hope i never see him in public. -Melissa

--RUN, RUN really far away from him, he is a jerk to do this to you two times, totally unacceptable! I am so sorry melissa!! I really really am, i can only imagine how hard it was last night, I know it was unimaginable.. - Nadine

--I am so sorry that things did not work out how you had hoped. I wouldn't be surprised if part of your pain now is your frustration with yourself of having given him another chance. Your Aunt Connie would tell you that this speaks only to your capacity to give love and not to his worthiness to receive your love. Could we all get this cross-stitched on something that we hang around our necks. Although you believe you feel more pain this time, I am betting that it doesn't last as long this time. When he came back and asked for another chance had you not given that to him then every time you were feeling lonely you would have kicked yourself and said, maybe I should have given Adam that second chance he asked for. Now, however, you have all of your information and you are smart enough to know it is time to move on. Even if your reinvestment in this relationship had paid off this time, my belief is that way down deep in your gut you would have always been waiting for him to break your heart again. And, well he has. Please, please remember Maya Angelou's words: WHEN SOMEONE SHOWS YOU WHO THEY ARE BELIEVE THEM. This guy has shown you twice. He is so unworthy of your love. Please, please move on. You deserve someone who completely and totally gets you -- it isn't this guy. -Auntie Lynn

--Hey there! I’m so sorry about what you are going through…life really is stupid sometimes…so are the men we love. -Steph

--Please take care of yourself, and call me if you need to talk. But most importantly, don’t forget what a wonderful, smart, and beautiful person you are. You will rise above all of this and come out an even stronger person in the end. --Tammy